1. Alicia
“ I love my husband” said Alicia while looking at me, her big dark
eyes showing some uncertainty. “But I cannot commit myself fully. I always feel doubt, something is missing. I love
our 2 kids, I do not want a divorce either. And now I found the perfect answer, but not the solution. “That means?”
I asked. ”Well, I fell in love with another man.”.
Alicia had come
‘to set up a constellation’ in order to get more insight about herself. “Ok, I have enough information”
I said. “Ask some one to represent
you, your father and your mother.” “Not my husband??” “No, not yet”.
She chose a few people from the audience,
moved them to a specific spot in the room, in the so called ‘morpho energetic field’, and, voila!
there the picture was revealed.
In this constellation the represented
father was placed three yards away form Alicia’s representative, (in the middle of the field) and looks very happy
and proudly at her.
‘Alicia’ (the rep) looks
back. The mother, as set up by the client, is set up as if in the corner of a triangle, she turns her back to her husband
and looks away from them. She peaks a little bit in the direction of ’Alicia’.
’Are your parents divorced?’
“No. But they don’t have a great relationship either”, client Alicia said.
”That is obvious.” A big
gap between a couple physically, symbolically means that there is a big emotional
distance as well. “Your mom would like to leave the family?” “Yes, that makes sense.”
“Follow your inner movements”
I said to the 3 representatives. The father approaches Alicia, very closely, the mother moves a little more to the side. ”What’s
going on?” I ask the ‘father’. “I want to go to her, I feel so proud of her” and he points toward
‘Alicia’. “Yes. What about your wife?” “I don’t have feelings for her. I see only my daughter.” “And what are you feeling?” I ask
the ‘mother.’ She replies, “I don’t belong, I love my daughter, but she is not seeing
me at all. I don’t care for my husband at all.”
The real Alicia, who’s observing,
starts to cry.
The constellation continues and shows
a typical case of ‘non-physical’ incest, that the daughter takes the place of the mother. Of course this pattern
can also exist with mother/ sons. In a difficult, loveless marriage without a possibility to choose a divorce, parents can
project their feelings and needs on their children. The strong symbioses changes in another pattern.
In order to free Alicia she will take
the place on the floor where her representative stood and will say healing sentences that work deeply into the soul, and the so called’ family-soul’, even though her father is not really present.
She will repeat after me: “I am
small, you are big”, “I am your daughter, not your wife”, “Allow me my own life and marriage.”
“Thank you for being my father”, “I honor you for being my father.”, “You gave me life.”,
“That was enough.”, “I have my own life, and I am free to be with my own husband.” “ I let go
off all feelings concerning guilt.”
When these kind of sentences are spoken,
a profound feeling is in the group noticeable.. It is amazing that people can temporarily take over someone’s feelings
even though they are not even present. The accuracy of the interactions and emotions expressed astounds many clients especially
when they are participating in their own story. After the constellation is over, those feelings dissipate from all of the
representatives immediately.
After the session a different
Alicia is visible, every one is able to notice a shift. Experiences learn that
this shifts work on several levels, and last. Alicia told me a few months later that things really changed for her. The need
for ‘escape’ was gone...
Many, many different topics or secrets
could be resolved with this energetic healing work. About 80 % of participants report afterwards that the issue has eased
or even resolved completely. Ful.l resolution of a particular issue can take months to unfold, but the release itself occurs in a profound moment of insight. Despite years of sorrow and pain, a broken
heart can heal in one beat
The family-soul has
its wounds and secrets that work their way through to many future generations, when not healed. The children, by
being so loyal, often take over what does not belong to them. “I take it instead of
you” or “I leave instead of you ”. With these types of entanglements, love cannot flow, it can disturb
our lives and manifest in the form of sudden illnesses or
accidents, depression, physical or mental illness, persistent relationships conflicts and dysfunction. Constellation is also
used with different phenomenons and organizations
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2. “Feeling the Presence of Absence”
She
looked at me, a bit insecure. “I don’t know if this make sense to you” “Well, try!” I said.
Sivan sighed deeply and began to talk..” I have kind of feeling that all the people in my family who died in the Holocaust
have an influence on how I am. I feel often depressed, and I don’t know why. My mothers sister was killed in the Holocaust
along with 6 children. Her brother drowned in a river when he was a boy. My grandmother who’s name I was given because
I was born a year after she died. In my family the story is that she was a great, wonderful person. I actually would like
to look closer into that side of my family.”
To start with family constellations, we begin usually with the family of origin.
“Choose representatives for your grandmother, the aunt with six children, and the
uncle who drowned.”
Sivan puts the aunt with her children very close together. They all look down, which means
in a constellation that they look at dead people. When the grandmother is set up in front of this daughter, she becomes very
unstable, her body convulses as if she is crying silently. “ Go to your daughter and all of your grandchildren and touch
them, one by one. You too, Sivan, do the same. They all embrace each other in silence.” Now take your grand daughter
by the hand and bow to your relatives, both of you, in front of all of them., with one bow.” Grandmother hesitates.
“One deep bow. You leed it” ( to grandmother).Grandmother and Sivan bow deeply and slowly. “Now look at
them, and tell them: ‘I am one of you”. Sivan does say so. “Look at them”.”Now straighten up
a little bit, look at them very clearly, and say: “I’ll carry on”. Sivan averts her face. “Say it.
Look them in the eye and say: “I’ll carry on”. Sivan, deeply moved:”I’ll carry on.” ”I’ll
carry on in memory of you.” I: “Your dead was not in vain,” Sivan looks down. Shakes her head.”Tell
them, look at them: “I’ll carry on.” Sivan shakes her head, no.
I ask the aunt: “Tell her: It is enough that we are dead.”
The aunt smiles spontaneously.
